mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
I thought you should know that there is a scientific law stating that when there is booze, people talk about your dick.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
Dude we just exchanged Zelda related pickup lines. I fell in love at "you can blow on my ocarina"
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
