hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
Theres a 75% chance I'm wearing a hocky mask and nothing else right now
Ps I am
Look if 10 am was too early to go barrel tasting the winery would not be open.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
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