just do it
fine only cuz shes asian
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
Just burnt my nuts with a cigarette. Don't ask. I hate life.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Fuck me I smell like cheese
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
Also epiphany: I gotta quit fucking with dudes that have never seen Harry Potter. They all turn out to be shitheads who probably eat honeydew.
Randomize
