She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
God dammit. My lube leaked all over my passport
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
Randomize
