I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
i was born a porn star she said
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
Whatever I'm getting wasted, my costume's bomb, and there's a good chance I'm getting laid. Not letting stupidity ruin my night!
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
