so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I have a theory he's part Neanderthal
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
