your thong is hanging out like whoa
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There's a skateboard on the patio and all the chips are gone. The note on the fridge says 'don't buy cheese'. Stop letting her go outside.
sleeping in bed with your booty calls married sister...you're the stuff heroes are made of.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
The teenager outdrank all of us. All. Of. Us. I woke up and she was getting everyone water and fruit snacks. I give up.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
What do I do with all this pork broth? I can't waste it.
CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG CHUG
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
Randomize
