WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Randomize
