ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I didn't shave. On purpose
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
Ripped lines in the bathroom before my presentation.. Got bonus marks for my enthusiasm.. This is why I love drugs
I hope your sleeping good cuz when u wake up im punching you square in the face
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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