So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
Shits getting dirty between us in her dad's bedroom. I'm talking early millennium rap and r&b
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
No worries I have vodka. Its always on time
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
He knows whenever I get drunk I'm going to call him and make fun of his major. Its like a reverse booty call.
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Randomize
