Baby momma caught me doing baby daddy in reverse cowgirl. She kicked me out and i have no clothes, come get me.
I hope you walked the shit out of that shame.
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
He doesn't need to speak English. He needs to speak sex.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
THERE ARE SO MANY ALCOHOLS IN MY BLOOD RIGHT NOW
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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