I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
hey im sorry i made fun of the color of your sheets, but like it was all i could focus on during sex because they were just THAT UGLY
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
