the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Did you really lure me out of the bar with a blond holding a dunkin donuts bag? Well played sir, well played.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
It gives me purpose in life to help fulfill nerdy fantasies. Like I'm doing something good for mankind and having multiple orgasms in the process.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
