and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Im showing up stoned and in sweatpants. Because that is where im at in life right now. Sorry not sorry.
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
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