I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
