I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
Yes please. My parents would fucking love him and I'd love fucking him. That's a win-win if I've ever seen one.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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