Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
