It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I think I need to start sobriety testing my Tinder dates.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My chance to home wreck was right in front of me and I didn’t grab it by the balls
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
He updated Facebook... "Got a new phone today." WHAT ABOUT THE FUCKING KID YOU HAD?!
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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