Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
The walk of shame is so much worse when you've spent the night third wheeling.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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