What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
Randomize
