Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
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