The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Aunt Jean just announced that her pubic hair is getting thicker as her head hair gets thinner. As a family we are just not a people of mystery.
Just found a hundred dollar bill on the ground. Hope you're looking to drink tonight
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
Chasing my kid around a 30' jungle gym was not how I envisioned spending the day off work to recover from a vasectomy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
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