Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I wonder if those guys know that i know that is a halfway house and dont just think it is some cool older guy frat house.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
So I had to explain to her that pussy doesn't mean a cat
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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