A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I haven't gotten laid in forever. I'm obsessed. I imagine I this is how Ethopians feel about food.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
At first I was nervous, then drunk me thought: What other chance will you realistically have to fuck a British guy?
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
