By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
SERIOUSLY WHY DOES EVERYONE INSIST THAT THEY NEED TO SEE MY BOOBS
Because there's a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. You should start charging for viewings.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
i hooked up with all four beatles on halloween get on my level
Randomize
