Life Lesson Number 76: Masturbating into a sock is useless if there is a hole in it.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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