i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
