good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
They normally just get fucked up and see who can hold their hand on the exhaust the longest. It's great
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.�
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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