my dad came in to wish me a happy birthday and found me passed out in my underwear with the lights on and a plate of meat on the bed. i bet he was proud to have contributed to my creation in that moment.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
home. puking in laundry basket.
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I was super proud of him for making a mature relationship decision, and then I remembered that he cheated on her. With me.
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
I think he is using me to sort through his relationship issues, past and present. I did not sign up for this. All I want is booty. Am I the dude in this relationship?
Randomize
