dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
Getting a vibrator would be like waving the white flag of surrender in this war against my vagina and its hormone army.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
When do you think the murder is going to happen in this Lifetime movie of ours?
Randomize
