don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I have work in an hour and I'm having trouble with concepts such as 'staying upright' and 'staying conscious'. Tie me to your wrist next time we go out drinking,
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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