we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
In the words of my step grandma "whatever makes your pussy happy"
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
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