I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
The cop took you back from the hospital and the lady at the front desk said "how are you doing cal?" You said "how do you know my name?" she responded "you're the only person i've ever seen that can throw up in your back pocket." Skills dude.
I'm going to target high, just in case I ask you where my paycheck went later
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
