anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
I understand where he's coming from but I don't want this alcohol to revolve around relationship
Wait
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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