That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
She fell out the car soaking wet and screaming "im wearing a fedora!" then tryed to seduce him on the front lawn in front of his middle aged neighbor
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I told you about the baby at the graduation party that looked into my eyes and knew I was empty inside
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
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