There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Well I went on a freakin rampage and destroyed a fan and claimed that it wasn't doing its fan duties... Then I knocked on everybody's doors in the hall and asked if they were content with their fan's performance and if not I would take care of it...
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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