After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
Ok because I want to set a new world record for how fast I can drink away my Christmas money
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
We were drunk at 3am with no food. I sent him to the lobby with ninety cents for like a bag of chips and I swear on my life he came back with a meatball sub
...did you ask him where he got a meatball sub at 3:00am?
He just kept mumbling something about being a hunter/gatherer
Oh AND he got us two bags of chips.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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