Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
As it turns out, drunk trust falling that guy at the top of the waterslide didn't really work out for anyone..
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
