no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
I'll be in SoCal at my bachelorette party, aka embracing a fireman covered in KY and chocolate shavings.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize
