how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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