I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
So I just stole my deans keys to break into the dining hall to get coco puffs. I shouldn't have gone to this meeting stoned.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
Randomize
