I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
You hit your head and proceeded to fall in the floor, curl up in my lap and make me rock you like a small infant. I was beginning to worry until you started to sing "Rock me momma like a wagon wheel".
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
