I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
he was drinking cheap vodka with warm tap water and a packet of crystal light. if that's not an alcoholic then idk what is
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
Randomize
