I wish my penis had an off switch
Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
And for 6 straight hours, I laid on my bedroom floor trying to convince myself it would perfectly acceptable to pee on my own floor
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
When she gives birth, I'm so playing 'Eye of the Tiger'
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Randomize
