We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I have the Lakers game on, but all I can think about is having sex with you. Not sure what you've done here.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
We fucked in his mom's shower and all I could think about was being too old to be sneak banging while someone's mom was out of town and how much mildew was on the shower curtain. Fuck you, Adulthood.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
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