I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
you were so high you asked for half double stack and half crispy chicken sandwich "welded together" in the wendy's drive through
Randomize
