I have to look really hot tonight because my personality is going to suck.
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Until last night, I had never actually thrown up ON a sandwich
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Randomize
