she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Well I'm drunk and covered in baby oil so tonights not ideal
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
Randomize
