Ummmm the art teacher neighbor asked me to pose nude for her art class for cash.
cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Last night was so much fun. i kept trying to lick everyone
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I've seen you dance and let's just say its a good thing you don't have a small dick
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
The fact that my boss lets me drink on my lunch break makes Mondays much easier.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Randomize
