mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
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